Two pieces of rope walk into a bar. First piece of rope goes up to the barman and asks for a drink. Barman says "sorry we don't serve pieces of rope". The second piece of rope was watching and so he went over to the corner of the bar and tied a knot in himself at the top. Then he splayed out all the strands of his rope. Going back to the bar to ask for a drink, and the barman said "Are you a punk"? to which he replied , "no I am frayed knot".

Woman walks into a cocktail bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gave her one.

I am hopefully not one for stooping into the crass world of tired beer puns and macho posturing. However, this did tickle me enormously.  Who knows here comes your novelty Christmas present. 

Beer pager helps you locate your misplaced beer!
After drinking several cans of beer, your brain would stop functioning properly, and you’d forget where you’d left your last can of beer. It’d be handy to equip your can of beer with a Beer Pager. When you fall into the situation of failing to remember where you’ve left your beer, just press the button on the remote control and your can of beer will respond in a belching sound and light up. Always leave the remote control in your pocket so you won’t forget where you’ve left it.

If you really want to part with your heard earned dollars, for something that may give you a whole ten minutes amusement then here is where to go gadgettastic